|
|
|
|
 |
- Be a good father
- Be a good husband
- Do my father's eulogy with my son in attendance so he can get tips for mine
- Become a good cook and invite friends often
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen
- Pay for a stranger's groceries
- Make and maintain my favorite movie list for anyone to view
- Steal a car with a friend like in Ferris Bueller and have a great day off
- Learn three jokes (***) – 1. Longer joke you have to stand up to tell; 2. Short one-liner when someone says make me laugh; 3. Stupid story that makes everyone groan but laugh.
|
| |
*** My Three Jokes (from The 85% Man and Lessons from Lucille):
1. Your Old Man - Stand up and be animated to tell this one.
A man comes home and sees his wife standing in front of a full length mirror in her bikini. She smiles as she swivels, admiring her figure.
The husband shakes his head at her antics and says, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
She replies, “I was at the beach today and there were some young, cute college boys there. They said I had the breasts of a hot 20-year-old babe.”
The husband frowns and growls, “So what did they say about your 40-year-old ass!?”
The woman turns and examines her derriere in the mirror. “That’s funny... your name never really came up.”
2A. Horse in a Bar - One liner when someone ask you to tell a joke.
A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey pal. Why the long face?”
2B. Fonts in a Bar - Second option if they groan at 2A.
A group of Helvetica fonts walk into a bar. The bartender yells, “Get out of my bar. We don’t serve your type in here.”
2C. Toad in a Bar - Third option if they’re still groaning.
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a toad on his shoulder. The bartender asks, “What the hell is that?” The toad says, “I don’t know. It started as a wart on my ass and kept getting bigger.” 2. Happy Dwarf - A groaner that makes people laugh (from Chapter 3.)
A dwarf walks into a bar and sits at the far end of the saloon. The bartender is ignoring the short patron until the dwarf stands on the stool and waves his arms. The bartender finally makes his way down to the dwarf who’s sitting with his arms folded. “I’m not happy,” the dwarf says angrily. The bartender says, “I give up. Which one are you?”
Keep smiling, and always have a ‘walks into a bar’ joke handy. Never lose hope, and never give up on love. |
|
|
|
 |
- Work hard to find someone who will love me unconditionally as I will love her the same
- Meet a woman who will be a good mother to my children
- Have my own children
- Watch my child being born
- Protect and keep my BHBFs (Butt Hole Best Friends - Texas Term)
- Make the opposite sex one of my BHBFs
- Get an education, then a graduate degree
- Build a career in the computer industry
- Start my own company
- Honor my family by taking and keeping photo albums and displaying family pictures
- Convert family 8MM films to DVD and post online*
- Write a screenplay and option it
- Write a book about my mom Lucille that is critically acclaimed
- Hold book signing for my book about Lucille
- Attend service at Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco and donate $100
- Write a book dedicaed to my sister Debbie ("Black & Blue No More"- outlined)*
- Learn to dance
- Save something special for my kid(s) for 20 years to give to them
- Eat sushi for the first time with a BHBF
- Never get a tattoo
- Join a fraternity
- Join a dating service and date great women only
- Work on a Hollywood movie (Nothing in Common, with Tom Hanks)
- Wash, dry and style my significant other's hair
- Learn to fly a small plane
- Learn to play guitar*
- Write the President a letter to make the country better – it's a mess and always will be
- Catch fireflies
- Perfect a chili recipe, have cook off at my house
- Perfect my gumbo recipe and invite friends to eat
- Open a restaurant with someone
- Date someone 15+ years older and learn something for my DDL
- Personally meet Hollywood stars (Tom Hanks, Jackie Gleason, Gary Marshall, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone*, Jamie Fox*
- Make or join a sports team – school, gym, local
- Grow a big mustache and wear it for years
- Do standup comedy on amateur night
- Rebuild a car motor
- Go to a drive-in movie and make out
- Have my own TV show
- Learn French*, Chinese*, and Russian*
- Frame four generation photo – me, pops, grandpa, great grandpa
- Walk granddaughter or stepdaughter down the aisle*
- Never get old
- Finish my life living in Carmel*
- Die anywhere except a hospital*
- Produce my sci-fi movie Little Hunters with stock money and buddy QB*
* Still not done! |
|
|
 |
- Become scratch golfer, attempt Q School
- Win my golf club championship (Harding Park, 2X)
- Play in California Amateur Golf Tournament
- Make Little League All Star team
- Play professional baseball**
- Play golf in multiple continents – Europe, Australia, Asia
- Play in golf Pro Am - L.A., Pebble Beach*
- Play Saint Andrews, Scotland (54 holes, 69-81)
- Play Augusta National (1983, had pneumonia but played sick shot 78)
- Learn to scuba dive, get certified (Fiji)
- Scuba dive with sharks in French Polynesia
- Go deep sea fishing (Houston w/ pops)
- Go fishing with pops and grandpa together – Table Rock Lake, Ozarks
- Scuba dive Great Barrier Reef, Fiji, Coral Sea, Tahiti
- Do a guys only vacation
- Go to baseball parks across U.S. – SF, Cleveland, NY Yankees, Kansas City A's (with Grandpa Peak, they were in KC from 1955-1967, then moved to Oakland)
- Surf all hot spots in California
- Surf Sunset Beach, Banzai Pipeline**
- Drive a tractor
- Read or listen to the same book as your significant other and compare notes
- Go to Super Bowl – VII (LA), XXV (saw in Vegas)
- Go to World Series game*
- Go hunting on horseback
- Build a bonfire and then go moonlight surfing like in Point Break
- Bungee jump
- Learn to play guitar*
- Milk a cow
- Go river rafting
- Sing karaoke
- Go skydiving**
- Catch foul ball at Major League ballgame*
* Still not done!
** Not gonna happen
|
|
 |
|
This is the shortest of my list items since things are to be used, and people are to be loved. Actions that involve meeting or being with someone are much more important to me. |
- Buy art to honor my father – Lithograph of Flying Tigers signed by all 51 pilots
- Buy cars I couldn't afford in high school – '67 corvette 427, '55 T-bird
- Rent or buy a Vespa and go cruising in Europe or on an island
- Buy a German car (BMW)
- Build custom Scarab from Datsun '70-72 240Z (Chevy V8, License CRZZZ8)
- Own fine Italian suits
- Buy an old family home from original owner and remodel it with love
- Win a lot of money gambling - Vegas Super Bowl XXV, Bay 101 poker
- Do garage sale every five years
|
 |
- Take a vacation every year possible and do something on my DDL
- Leave memento at Vietnam Memorial for BHBF Tex (Little League photo)
- Visit D.C. and see monuments
- Live in San Francisco, London, New York
- Visit my old home in military housing in Wiesbaden, Germany (1997)
- See a big show in Vegas (Folies Bergere #1, several Cirque de Soleil)
- See Elvis in Vegas (2X)
- Visit Hawaii, Australia, Tahiti, South America, Bali and go surfing
- Go to Mardi Gras (once is enough)
- Study ideology of multiple religions and develop personal philosophy
- Visit Amsterdam, Heineken Brewery, Ann Frank House, tulip fields
- Visit Hamburg, Germany and the Reeperbahn
- Find and dine at a restaurant in major cities and tell friends a great story – New York (Lulu's), San Francisco (Aqua), Chicago (Carson's Ribs), Hawaii (Le Mer)
- Ride roller coasters at major theme parks* (a few to go)
- Visit New Orleans for 4th of July (2005 just before Hurricane Katrina)
- Ride street car in San Francisco
- Sit behind the VIP ropes in a hip club with a story to tell after
- Swim with dolphins
- Live on the Strand at the beach in L.A. (Hermosa Beach)
- Go surfing, then eat lobster tacos at Rauol's at K38 marker in Mexico
- See Tina Turner, Rolling Stones, Boz Scaggs perform live
- Spend Christmas in Paris with someone I love*
- Visit concentration camp memorial site in Germany (Dachau)
- Visit Tower of London, Wimbledon, Piccadilly Square
- Go to at least six different Major League Baseball parks* (need one more)
- Rock out at Tipatino's in New Orleans
- Visit Rome, Venice*, and Florence* with someone I love
- Visit the Coliseum in Rome*
- Smoke a joint in Amsterdam cafe
- Visit Great Wall of China*
- Dine at international restaurants at Epcot – Chinese, Japanese, Cajun, Mexican, German
- Ride hot air balloon
- Fly in helicopter
- Drive through the Black Forest in Germany at night (1955 with pops/family)
- Ride a train in first class across a European country*
- Go to Broadway shows (Favorites - Sweeney Todd with Angela Langsbury, and Chorus Line in New York)
- Attend Gay Pride parade in San Francisco
- Dine in New Orleans - Mister B’s (favorite BBQ shrimp), Brennan’s brunch, Pascal’s Manale, K Paul’s, Ms. Ruby’s, Cafe Due Monde
- Drive through the Chunnel*
- Go to the Black & White Ball in San Francisco
- Go trout fly fishing with girlfriend (Lynn, Montana drift fishing)
- Visit New Zealand*
- Eat sushi in Japan
- Fly first class to Australia
- Go on a cruise ship, meet new people
- Go on African Safari*
- See The Book of Mormon on Broadway*
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
